To Our Discerning Customer…

Sir or Madam,

I congratulate you on your acquisition of this catalogue of our most varied and wondrous wares. Your interest reveals you to be a person of impeccable taste and excellence of character, the very sort of person whom will see the true value and artistry of the merchandise within these pages. Please take your time in browsing all our products, each of which is sure to delight and astound! You will surely see how our wares can bring about astonishing improvements in your life. 

I look forward to receiving your order form (enclosed), and eagerly await the pleasure of fulfilling your shipment.


Rosdav Dexkin, Esq.
Spilled Ale Studios 
(Purveyors of Miraculous Mechanisms, Delightful Devices, and Startling Solutions).